What I Miss Today

Often what I miss about our year away is that closeness as a family.

Yes, it could get annoying to be surrounded by my people 24/7. Claustrophobic even. But after we came home, life swept us back into its current. Though we make an effort to stay tight, I think a certain degree of separation is inevitable over the years. I suppose it’s natural to let nostalgia color that time. “Remember when we were together so often that going to the bathroom seemed like a little vacation? Yeah, I miss that.”

These days, Sam is heading into the tween years. Jim and I are glimpsing a new teenager attitude in our smiley-faced boy. It’s not offensive so much as it is a sign: Someday he will leave us and go his own way. Same with Zadie. It’s the natural progression of life, I suppose. But it can sure make a mama melancholy every now and then.

These photos were taken on a family hike just outside the village. One of the weird and wonderful adventures in Mrkopalj that is on my mind today—and not just because we got lost and thought we might have to eat someone in our party.

Get Signed Copies from Me

If you’d like a signed copy of the book for a holiday gift, just email me. jen@jennifer-wilson.com.Running Away to Home

Ham Hock and the Family Vocabulary

Our little Ham Hock.

When Sam was a newborn, our friends Maria and Don came over to bring Jim and I a nice spaghetti and meatball dinner, and to hold the baby while we ate our portion. One of the biggest adjustments to becoming parents was not being able to sit through an entire meal (which we haven’t done much of since, now that I think of it).

So that night, I was talking to Maria about life with our new guy, Sam Hoff. Maria misheard me, and thought I was referring to my son as Ham Hock. Which, for a chubby little feller like Sam, was a great nickname. Every once in a while, Sam’s still Ham Hock to us.

Every family has it’s inside vocabulary. Because of two-year-old Zadie, we call hair clips “doties.” Also from Zadie, when we’re inappropriately disappointed in an outcome that shouldn’t have been too surprising, it’s “I can’t believe Paris isn’t pink.”

From Jim, shorthand for wanting to do something, but being prevented from actual participation, is: “I would like to go swimming with you,” a memory from when then-little nephew Tommy Hoff asked his big uncle in the dead of winter: “Hey Uncle Chum, wanna go swimmin’ wif me?”

I had a neighbor kid growing up who cat-called general lippiness with an “Ooo! Mowf!” So that’s from me and my sister, Stephanie.

What’s the insider terminology from your family?

Think on it, while you enjoy this little Ham Hock splendor, an insider recipe passed through the centuries by Croatian families.

HAM HOCKS WITH BARLEY AND POTATOES (Mary Micetich)

3-4 lbs. ham hocks, smoked                                                1 cup barley

4-5 medium-sized potatoes                                                  2 carrots, sliced

Peel and cube potatoes. Wash ham hocks in cold water. Put all ingredients in cooking pot and cover with cold water. Cook covered about two hours or until done. Meat should separate from bone. Season is not necessary, as hocks are salty. Barley can be substituted with cabbage or beans. Amount of ingredients can be adjusted to suit the amount of people you plan to serve.

 

Comfort over Skinny

This is third in a series of antique family recipes—from myself and others—celebrating the paperback release of Running Away to Home on October 2, which will include recipes from the village and photos of our journey. 

I’m no great chef, but I’m a champ at comfort food. Where I come from, that means I cook with butter, potatoes and meat. Generous portions, glass of milk, maybe a game of cards after.

Yes, I know that according to most parenting and health magazines, I am an inferior species. But here’s my theory: I subtract the general happiness quotient of a belly full of comfort food from the high fat content. In the end, we’re probably even with the skinless chicken breast and broccoli menus of the world. Or close at least. The Swiss steak recipe below, from Centerville’s Croatia Fest cookbook, is a real contender, with polenta in place of potato.

What’s your comfort food combo? Sweet? Salt? Starch? Salad? (I’m betting it’s not salad … but if it is, please share a recipe for one that might give all the butter, potatoes and meat a run for the money.)

SWISS STEAK AND POLENTA by Mary Micetich

1 lb thick round steak cut into serving pieces

3 T bacon drippings                                                1 onion, chopped

1 clove garlic                                                            ½ c celery leaves

1 t chili powder                                                         salt, pepper and savor salt

1 can water                                                                1 can tomato juice (large)

Brown onion, garlic and celery leaves in drippings until tender. Brown steak on both sides. Add seasonings, tomato juice and water. Simmer until done, about 1.5 hours. Serve with polenta.

POLENTA

Bring three cups of water to a boil with one teaspoon salt. Slowly add 1 ½ cups yellow corn meal mixed with ½ cup cold water stirring with a wooden spoon. Cover a few minutes to thicken. Then stir and turn over several times during cooking process. Cook 25 minutes. Add ¼ cube butter. Mix well and turn out on plate.

iPad Typewriter Blows Iowa Woman’s Mind

As much as I love technology and TV, I also love the chickens in my backyard and the old family quilt.

When I see things like this, I know there’s room in this world for both. (Thanks to Kevin and NotCot.org for spotting it and making my day.)

Yes.

The memory of language

IMG_1445

So, the other night I was at the party of dear friends who helped us get ready for our journey to Croatia. In 2009, Alma and Dino fed us traditional Slavic food and schooled us on the common customs of eastern Europe. (I am so down with the “bring your slippers to the party” tradition … you just leave your shoes at the door then slip on the fluffies.)

I was happy to go to their house again, post-trip, for a visit. At the party, Alma and Dino had invited guests from Bosnia, Serbia, and Croatia, along with our friends Mark and Kelly, who brought us all together to begin with. All around me, mixing with the English, were the languages that I’d come to know so well. At one point, I just drifted over to the bookshelf, where Alma’s favorite books were lined up in a row.

Joseph Conrad's "Tales of Land and Sea"

I just stood there, outside of any group, but listening to all of them, covering up my eavesdropping by browsing her titles. It felt in so many ways like a neighborhood gathering in Mrkopalj.

Alma is a quiet woman, thoughtful, dark-haired, slender. She has one of those glowing beauties that comes from way down deep somewhere. She pulled a few of her favorite titles and showed them to me. “I love books,” she said. “But I especially love these.”

I don’t know what it was that made me choke up when I saw the translated language of books I’d known myself, but I did.

I guess I miss Croatia in more ways than I know; like it’s lurking in my subconsciousness all the time and I don’t even know the depth of it. I miss that intimate time together between Jim and the kids and me. I miss the beauty of the village. I miss the language, that bucking beast I never could get a handle on. I miss our travels.

No idea. None at all.

During readings or book clubs, people often ask me: Will you go back? I know I will, we’re just not sure when. It takes time and money, and having those two things simultaneously is somewhat of a rarity.

But deep down, when I think of it, there are parts of us that never really left Mrkopalj. I mention the name of the village, and Zadie still lights up thinking of the Starcevic girls, who were like sisters to her. Jeem talks about Robert and the guys every day. Sam, well, Sam just wants to get out of school for a long time.

I’ll leave you with the poem that Alma says has been a favorite since she was very young. She didn’t know then that the poet, Sara Teasdale, was from St. Louis, just a few hours away from what would become Alma’s new home in the 1990s.

Enjoy the language.

Let It Be Forgotten

BY SARA TEASDALE

Let it be forgotten, as a flower is forgotten,
   Forgotten as a fire that once was singing gold,
Let it be forgotten for ever and ever,
   Time is a kind friend, he will make us old.
If anyone asks, say it was forgotten
   Long and long ago,
As a flower, as a fire, as a hushed footfall
   In a long forgotten snow.
Sara Teasdale, “Let It Be Forgotten” from Flame and Shadow (New York: Macmillan, 1924). Copyright 1924 by Sara Teasdale. Reprinted with the permission of the Office for Resources, Wellesley College. Taken from the Poetry Foundation website.

Sara Teasdale, "Let It Be Forgotten"

Meet Beverly: A Tribute Chicken

What is this space machine you point in my general direction?

Well hello! How’s this lukewarm winter treating everyone? Here, it’s a chance to do a little more tinkering with the chicken set-up and rake up those leaves we didn’t get to this fall, when Running Away to Home first came out and I was internally FREAKING OUT instead of raking leaves. All better now!

So we’ve tried to avoid naming the chickens, because there is still an outside chance we will eat them someday. I know, I know. I’ve wavered on this one. But if we’re going for the full farming experience, I can’t skip the hard part of the circle of life, right? Maybe. The jury is still out. Sam gets pale every time I mention that one of the Ameraucanas still isn’t laying, and she should eventually be useful in some way. Sam points out that Willa, our schnoodle, is also not very useful, but we don’t eat her.

We all know Muffy has a name, because she has shared her coop experience here on this blog. But recently, we’ve named another chicken, in honor of a powerhouse of a woman. The kind of woman who will change how you see things. Do you know someone like that?

Meet Beverly.

I first met this whirling dervish of activity (also known as my best friend Amy’s mom) on a small farm just outside of Colfax. I was a fourth grader.

Beverly had waist-length white hair, and she was a lawyer, a farmer, and a former social worker. Her idea of casualwear was (and is) Carhartt work pants. She was also a screamin’ feminist in a small town where such things weren’t so much appreciated. She pinned an ERA button onto my jean jacket, and away we went.

Beverly and I have been friends ever since. She’s always shown by example that a woman can do whatever she wants to do, as long as she doesn’t much care what others think. Bev also taught me that you can gain momentum as you age, also as long as you don’t much care what people think. Thus, I bought my first flock of chickens just as I’ve begun to sprout a few gray hairs. (Only a few. Like maybe ten so far.)

Bev went to law school in the 1970s when she was raising twin babies, largely alone. She ran her farm, which had goats that she occasionally kept indoors because she liked them very much. She also kept bees, harvested her own grapes to make preserves, and did not prohibit me from swearing in her presence, which was one of my favorite pastimes as a fourth-grader. She laughed at my Mr. Bill jokes, called me a writer from the time that we met, and, like the women in Mrkopalj, Bev taught me that herbal remedies and eating your own food (grown in your presence) are the first line of defense in living a healthy life.

And so, this fiesty and gorgeous Rhode Island Red, a layer so prolific and so efficient that she’s in and out of the laying box before most of the chickens have even gotten off the roost, is Beverly.

A poultry powerhouse. May she live up to her honorable name. Do you know someone who changed your perceptions of how things should be? Yes? You should tell them. You really should.

I’m writing something new.

journey

So I’ve been trying something new. I’m working on another book, and it’s fiction.

I know, I know. People have been really loving Running Away to Home, and why couldn’t I just shoot out another one just like it? In fact, I might some day. Returning to Croatia, or giving Jim more air time trying to track down where exactly he’s from (we’re not 100 percent sure), sounds like a lot of fun.

But I don’t want to do that just yet. I write magazine stories by day, and that work is regular and ordinary. I love it even more, now that I’ve experienced the long and emotional trajectory of the writing and release of a book. But they’re two radically different endeavors.

So because my day job is a steady and predictable thing, I feel like the book projects should stay sacred and fresh. I love sitting down before dawn and mapping out a storyline that literally appears from the mist. As the sun gets ready to rise, my characters come out, and they tell me what is going to happen next. I’m like a Ouiji board pointer! It’s scary in some ways, because I have so little control over it, but for that very reason, I keep at it. It’s pretty exciting stuff.

If there’s anything I learned from living the experience of Running Away to Home, it’s that diving into giant and intimidating acts might very well crush you. Probably it will crush you. But the you that emerges at the other side of the experience is better for the risk.

I can’t tell you that this new book will be exactly like my last one. But I can tell you that you’ll have the same guide on the journey. And I guarantee it’ll be an interesting ride. Again.

In that spirit, here’s a quote that I’ve kept at my desk for about 10 years now, by that one guy, Gustave Flaubert:

Be regular and ordinary in your daily life, so that you may be violent and original in your work. 

I’ll be thinking of you at dawn, when I’m out there retrieving another story from the ether. (Kind of like a pack mule, but with a laptop.) Maybe this sounds weird, but knowing you’ll be on the receiving end of my early-morning missions gets me out of bed when it’s dark and cold and the quilt is just so warm.

So thank you for the daily inspiration. Can’t wait to share my next story with you.

Chicken current events

So I bet you’re wondering about the chickens.

The chickens are doing great!

All six of those big girls are hale and hearty, though a chickenhawk did try to fly off with the Rhode Island Red last week. She fought the good fight and won, and came away with only a little blood on her comb. I made a few adjustments on the chicken run that Jim and I built, and they’ve been safely cooped up since.

The black ones are smartest. Red is lucky to be alive.

Yes, you heard that right. Jim is now down with the chickens. The man who swore he had no interest in raising layers was caught last week hand-feeding them his own homemade bread. I am not embellishing this story. I think Jim finally realized they weren’t going anywhere, and gave in.

In the past month, we moved the coop to a better windbreak in the yard, put up winter insulation, and built that chicken run. My dad just built some laying boxes for us, because those birds will be laying within the next month (if they know what’s good for them). This is the only thing that Zadie has consistently included on her Christmas list. “For the chickens to lay eggs!” in 7-year-old scrawl. Let’s hope Santa (and all 6 chickens) deliver soon.

Zadie models Grandpa's laying boxes.

In case they don’t get the picture of what they’re supposed to do with the laying box, I put a few golf balls in there.

Mother: Just trying to be helpful

I hope it’s not a bad sign that this morning, one of those golf balls was all the way across the chicken run, as if it had been physically thrown out of the coop.

Up for Air!

Baaaah! Big intake of air! … I’ve returned from the murky depths of trying to get the word out about Running Away to Home. It’s good to be back on the keyboard again. Once you write a book, it seems, all you do is talk about yourself and not write.

Talking about the book for interviews, and pitching to editors and producers, sort of reduces the whole beautiful endeavor to a few brief talking points. “It’s about how my family and I sold our stuff and went to the Croatian mountain village of my ancestors” … “We never did get that recipe for rakija, but you can figure it out if you watch YouTube and can speak Bulgarian” … or, my personal favorite, “Well, not everyone can have a cow on the first floor of their house.” That was Jim, on CNN American Morning hosted by Christine Romans.

Christine and I went to college together, and we helped run the Iowa State Daily when we were students. She was an enthusiastic interviewer, and made it easy for the two rubes on the couch with her. At one point, when we were in the green room (which is not green), I slipped out to hit the bathroom after my fourth cup of free coffee. When I returned, Jim was talking to Deepak Chopra about the morality of drone missiles. Of course, Jim had no idea who he was speaking with. Here’s an excerpt of the conversation:

Jim: “Aren’t you nervous?”

Chopra: “No. I do this every day.”

Jim: “Ha! Me, too.”

So that’s doing press for a book. I’ve posted the CNN interview on the press page for this site. Photos from the weekend in New York with my sweetheart are here. I’ve posted other various interviews, including Talk of Iowa and All Things Considered, also on the press page, in case you wonder where the hell I’ve been for the past few months.

What I like best is meeting actual readers face to face. I’ve done several book signings, and those rock. People ask questions and talk about what resonated for them. Some show me old pictures or books or family keepsakes from Mrkopalj. Some complain that the book is too expensive, and I agree with them. I bring (storebought) rakija and I share, whether they think the book is too expensive or not. Some just want to say thanks for writing it, and I swear those words travel back in time to sustain the sweaty midnight writer who was just putting the finishing touches on Running Away to Home one year ago right now.

It’s pretty special to meet your readers, and to know that this thing you did was truly appreciated. It fills up the tanks in a way I’ve never experienced before.

© Copyright Jennifer Wilson
WordPress Development by HTML Marketing