On Turning 42

I was born 42 years ago today. One of the many sweet perks of getting older is being able to talk about lessons you’ve learned over time without sounding like a moron. In that spirit … random advice gathered over four decades and some change.

• The unbridled joy a dog feels when taken on a walk is entirely transferrable to the walker.

• If you don’t have time or money for a good spring pedicure, pick up a tube of Heel Balm from Walgreens. It really works.

• There is no substitute for hustling your ass off in pursuit of that thing you dream of. If you want it, go get it. Complicate it all you want, but it’s as simple as that.

• Sometimes, it’s okay to feel terrible. Go ahead and sink. There are important things to be learned from the murk at the bottom of the pond, where stuff breaks down and turns into raw energy. Just remember to come back up for air.

• If you’re bored writing it, imagine how they’ll feel reading it.

• When you have no idea what to do when someone hurts your feelings, laugh. You can lash out, say equally hurtful things, punch them in the neck, or tear their name out of the phone book later. But handling a touchy situation with humor ain’t a bad default.

• After really studying the image taken by the winner of the 2012 Pulitzer Prize for Breaking News Photography, think about a change you can make in your life so the world will be a little less like this.

• Read the news.

• Chickens aren’t dumb. They’re also no intellectual powerhouses. Either way, they like to be held and petted, like all of us do.

• Your fingernails are there for a reason. Use your hands for something that’ll get them dirty and busted up every now and then.

• Tiny things bring as much happiness as giant things.

• Contribute your gifts. Don’t keep them to yourself. The world needs you, or you wouldn’t be here.

• You will never regret the time you spend away from Pinterest.

• No matter what the magazines tell you, there are far more interesting things to think about than the quality of your abs, and how your house looks.

• Despite all the screens, physical and spiritual experiences matter the same amount they always did.

• If you walk away from a gathering of friends wondering what they will say about you when you leave, re-evaluate your friends.

• Nothing compares to a heartfelt, considerate, empathetic apology.

• Sammy was an oracle. Sometimes you really just can’t drive 55.

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